5 Simple Rules to Being More Open to True Love

A young lawyer from London sat down in my writing group. He had one hour to write anything he wanted to.  For this writing session, he wanted to write about his dilemma with a woman whom he fell in love with. Her parents would not approve of their relationship, which was stopping them from being together although they loved each other. She was 31 years old. Nothing else was on his mind. He was confused and frustrated.

I see women and men from all over the world who have their own personal reasons for denying themselves the pleasure of love from a certain person.  If we were to all to challenge the way that we have been brought up to think, would we be able to change a few things to invite more opportunities into our lives that help us find that love we so desire? The reader must ask themselves this if they constantly have to let themselves and others down in the face of romance because of these self-imposed limitations. By no means should you dear reader give up on what you want or lower your standards. Many people do in fact find the person who meets all of the requirements on their checklist without changing a thing.  Only if you are willing to change because what you are doing is not working, should you consider the advice below.

 

Don’t Let the example of how your father treated your mother be what you accept from a man. Also, don’t let the example of how your father treated your mother be your guidance on how you treat women. 

Do not think that a guy or girl who acts elusive is the one for you. If you feel like you are playing a game,  someone not being genuine. There are some rules to follow in consideration of the psychology of the opposite sex, playful hard to get and distancing can be harmless,  but if you feel like you cannot be yourself then you might need to rethink this relationship.

Open your mind to new ways of doing things if you are in a religion that forbids dating outside of it.  There are two sides to this coin:

  1. I am not saying disrespect your religion dear reader.  I have seen countless people hurt due to religious reasons or because of family ties.  Finding the person you will spend the rest of your life with should be your decision, after all, aren’t you the one that has to spend the rest of your life with them? This is going to be a little more complicated when you are really close to your family or you depend on them for financial support, in this case, you will need to decide how your decision will affect your relationship with your family and if that in turn, affects your quality of life, or not. To sum it up, make sure that you think of all the possibilities and decide if your fears are rooted in reality dear reader, sometimes the worst possible outcome is not such a horrible one.
  2. Maybe your parents do not approve of the relationship because they sense a danger to you (like he is addicted to drugs, abusive, controlling or manipulative).  It is really important to take an honest look at yourself and check to see if their concerns are valid or not.
  3. Another helpful tip, check out this link from a male perspective on what to do if your parents do not approve of your relationship. It can be a more practical approach to figuring out how to navigate this tricky situation.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/christine-hassler/my-parents-or-my-boyfrien_b_241684.html

Don’t be with Someone for Convenience 

I met my boyfriend in San Francisco, although he lived on the other side of the world.  I was a bit scared and didn’t know how it would work, but  I loved the person I met and I wanted to keep him in my life.  We had the most unusual relationship because we were living in different countries,  but now we live together in a whole new country we both have never lived in before. We knew we could make it through anything because we spent two years flying back and forth across the world just to be next to each other. To me, it was worth it because I did not want to be with anyone else.

Don’t be with Someone for Money, Unless That is is Your Only Standard

Maybe money is important to you on a certain level, of course, you want to be with  someone who knows how to make wise decisions. Here is the deal, if you are only going for someone purely based on the fact that they stash over 100k per year, then this is a lifestyle for you and not a relationship.

 

 

 

 

Advertisements

A San Francisco Wordsearch

Get a visual of one of San Francisco's oldest most controversial neighborhoods. The Mission was the first place of settlement in the Discovery of San Francisco. Here, the Mission Dolores was built by Father Junípero Serra of the Catholic church. Junípero Serra, with much controversy later, attempted to convert the Native American Ohlone to Christianity. During this time many natives were killed and died due to the stresses of the change. Today, some people might compare the tech boom to one that is repeating history in pushing out the natives to make the mission a place for the people of money and status to reside, as the city gets more popular and crowded and the tech industry becomes the main source of employment for San Franciscans.
One of San Francisco’s oldest most controversial neighborhoods, the Mission was the first place of settlement in the discovery of San Francisco. Here, the Mission Dolores was built by Father Junípero Serra of the Catholic church. Junípero Serra, with much controversy later, attempted to convert the Native American Ohlone to Christianity. During this time many natives were killed and died due to the stresses of the change. Today, some people might compare the tech boom to one that is repeating history in pushing out the natives to make the mission a place for the people of money and status to reside, as the city gets more popular and crowded and the tech industry becomes the main source of employment for San Franciscans.

The Happiness that is Costa Rica

Pura Vida or Pure life is a saying that I had hardly heard of before I began considering traveling to Costa Rica to see what the surfing was like. I was looking for a great place to surf with warm water that hopefully wasn’t a tourist trap. Costa Rica has some of the most outstanding surf spots in the world along with the most diverse ecosystem in the western hemisphere. Monkeys, crocodiles, scorpions, parrots, dogs and dolphins all live here.

I traveled to Costa Rica alone for my birthday in order to escape the city life and to surf. I did not know anyone else who had been there, and my family thought it could be dangerous to travel to Central America alone but this was something I needed to do. It is one of the things I think all women need to do once in their lives, travel alone. Dominical, the place I chose, is a small dirt road village of about 200 people. Home of the Costa Rican national surf competitions. Many surfers around the world frequent here as well as the music and yoga culture to make the beach a dance floor during the Envision festival.

My first experience as I got off the plane was being greeted by my driver, a laid-back bleach blonde Costa Rican native, let’s call him Toad. He greeted me to a van that made me a little weary at first, but I decided to trust in the Universe… and the girl on the phone at the hotel who sent him. By one hour in the drive we were both singing Red Hot Chilli Peppers songs cruising down the highway and he asked me to move to Costa Rica to be in his band. I wasn’t going to do that but a lot of girls did move to Costa Rica after the first time they visited. I soon found this out. After all of the singing in the car I made it safely to Dominical and Toad was alright in my book.

I experience so much here that enriched me. I had an iguana who hung out on my front porch. I came home to a group of crabs dancing outside my door. I had a scorpion crawl above my table at lunch. We caught our own fish, swam in crocodile infested rivers and surfed amazing waves.

The locals never really went inside their homes unless it was to sleep, there was really no need to. All of the restaurants were outdoors and the sunsets were the most beautiful I had ever seen, the water was water was a constant 82 degrees.

Here live the happiest dogs in the world. The dogs here do not have owners, but rather the community takes care of them the same. Leaving food out in different places and letting them sleep, well, wherever.

Blankets and hand woven tropical articles of clothing hang from lines connected to palm trees in a maze to give tourists something to spend their money on.

There are many places in the world where we could go and realize that people are so much happier than us with so much less. Most unnecessarily, we go against the grain, stress ourselves out and destroy our bodies to achieve what we think success might be. We end up with bodies that we don’t feel good about, poor health, in a nice car and a big house to show everyone.We are told that this is the definition of successful. We know deep down inside what we love, but we are scared of doing it. Many times we are afraid of going after our calling because it seems unconventional, or it might make less money. That takes away our sense of self and our unique identity?

We can easily fall into the trap of comparing ourselves to others, which unfortunately is easy to do now with social media. We compare ourselves with our friends and colleagues’ personal marketing campaigns for their identities.  It resembles a secret competition to check in with each other and see where normal people are supposed to be in life. The humor is, others are going through the same struggle.

What I have learned from those people who live in Costa Rica, who don’t have big houses and give surfing lessons for a living, live in small cottages and have no masters degree is that they are happier than most people I have met with access to all of those things because they have friends that they see every day, they get exercise and they eat good food. Let us not forget that they have dogs running around everywhere. They are surrounded with an appreciation for natures forces and embrace all other people who come from around the world that want to spend time with them. There was no exclusion in this community. These are the things that matter. This is why I beleive that Costa Ricans are so happy.

The Salt of The Earth – A documentary that takes you across the world evoking emotion and inspiring change

Nothing is more valuable or worth our time than moments that change our prospective on the world and inspire us to grow. Whether it be quality time with  friends or taking the initiative to educate ourselves  on a subject we didn’t know about before. It is something to think about how our world would be if we strived to be the best version of ourselves for the progress of the human race. We are capable of love, compassion, growth and things we might think impossible. We can have the life we want, as soon as we stop thinking only about ourselves.

Screen Shot 2015-05-31 at 10.59.34 AM

Sebastião Selgado is photographer and photo journalist that is known for his intense and captivating photos of the human condition all over the world. His photos can take us back to the beginning of time with his ability to find places in this world today that have been untouched. Salgado would spend decades at a  time in places with no contact with the outside world, immersing himself in environments overcome with starvation, genocides, war violence and famine. Traveling to over 100 countries,  Salgado has been able to rediscover tribes of indigenous peoples and live amongst those who have no records of existence since the Bible. Salgado is the founder of the Institute De Terra in Brasil where he and his wife had replanted an entire rainforest in the Valley of The River Doce as a project after much of the land in the area was devastated by a drought. You can click on the link here and see what has managed to be done within in 15 years with this project.http://www.institutoterra.org

Salgado’s last project Genesis, was devoted to inspiring those to see how important it is to protect the world we live in.

This is a documentary that is inspiring, moving and may inspire one to look at the world through different lenses. The link to the trailer is below.

We can take a picture that communicates, one where we can see the problems and the people from around the world. We show the people of Bangladesh to others so they can understand them. I have tried to bring about better communication between people. I believe that humanitarian photography is like economics. Economy is a kind of sociology, as is documentary photography. – Sebastiao Salgad

Screen Shot 2015-05-31 at 11.07.19 AM

Serra Pelada Mine Worker in Brasil 1986 

Mine Workers- Sebstião Salgado

Zo’é Women in the Amazon Brasil

Screen Shot 2015-05-31 at 11.16.37 AM

Sebastião Salgado, Fallen worker: A fire fighter from the Safety Boss team knocked unconscious by a blast of gas from the wellhead, Kuwait, 1991

Screen Shot 2015-05-31 at 11.22.29 AM

Giant tortoise on the Galapagos Islands

Blinded by Sandstorms and infections, this woman waits for food distribution, Mali 1985.

Screen Shot 2015-05-31 at 11.22.01 AM

Screen Shot 2015-05-31 at 11.04.18 AM

Refugees in Korem Camp, Ethiopia

Sources: http://www.icp.org/exhibitions/sebastião-salgado-genesis