A young lawyer from London sat down in my writing group. He had one hour to write anything he wanted to. For this writing session, he wanted to write about his dilemma with a woman whom he fell in love with. Her parents would not approve of their relationship, which was stopping them from being together although they loved each other. She was 31 years old. Nothing else was on his mind. He was confused and frustrated.
I see women and men from all over the world who have their own personal reasons for denying themselves the pleasure of love from a certain person. If we were to all to challenge the way that we have been brought up to think, would we be able to change a few things to invite more opportunities into our lives that help us find that love we so desire? The reader must ask themselves this if they constantly have to let themselves and others down in the face of romance because of these self-imposed limitations. By no means should you dear reader give up on what you want or lower your standards. Many people do in fact find the person who meets all of the requirements on their checklist without changing a thing. Only if you are willing to change because what you are doing is not working, should you consider the advice below.
Don’t Let the example of how your father treated your mother be what you accept from a man. Also, don’t let the example of how your father treated your mother be your guidance on how you treat women.
Do not think that a guy or girl who acts elusive is the one for you. If you feel like you are playing a game, someone not being genuine. There are some rules to follow in consideration of the psychology of the opposite sex, playful hard to get and distancing can be harmless, but if you feel like you cannot be yourself then you might need to rethink this relationship.
Open your mind to new ways of doing things if you are in a religion that forbids dating outside of it. There are two sides to this coin:
- I am not saying disrespect your religion dear reader. I have seen countless people hurt due to religious reasons or because of family ties. Finding the person you will spend the rest of your life with should be your decision, after all, aren’t you the one that has to spend the rest of your life with them? This is going to be a little more complicated when you are really close to your family or you depend on them for financial support, in this case, you will need to decide how your decision will affect your relationship with your family and if that in turn, affects your quality of life, or not. To sum it up, make sure that you think of all the possibilities and decide if your fears are rooted in reality dear reader, sometimes the worst possible outcome is not such a horrible one.
- Maybe your parents do not approve of the relationship because they sense a danger to you (like he is addicted to drugs, abusive, controlling or manipulative). It is really important to take an honest look at yourself and check to see if their concerns are valid or not.
- Another helpful tip, check out this link from a male perspective on what to do if your parents do not approve of your relationship. It can be a more practical approach to figuring out how to navigate this tricky situation.
Don’t be with Someone for Convenience
I met my boyfriend in San Francisco, although he lived on the other side of the world. I was a bit scared and didn’t know how it would work, but I loved the person I met and I wanted to keep him in my life. We had the most unusual relationship because we were living in different countries, but now we live together in a whole new country we both have never lived in before. We knew we could make it through anything because we spent two years flying back and forth across the world just to be next to each other. To me, it was worth it because I did not want to be with anyone else.
Don’t be with Someone for Money, Unless That is is Your Only Standard
Maybe money is important to you on a certain level, of course, you want to be with someone who knows how to make wise decisions. Here is the deal, if you are only going for someone purely based on the fact that they stash over 100k per year, then this is a lifestyle for you and not a relationship.